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The decision to embrace a child-free lifestyle is a personal one, open to us all. Nevertheless, children occupy a crucial role in our global tapestry; their presence fuels the expansion of our world, playing an indispensable part in ensuring our continuity, for without them, the very essence of our existence would be at risk of fading away.
A recent comment in a community thread started by a frustrated mom went viral when she shared 7 things she’s frustrated with that make it hard to stay in contact with her child-free friends. Here’s waht they were.
1. Saying Things Like, “It’s Your Own Fault”
If the mom (original poster- OP) mentions that she’s having a hard day with her so-called friends, the immediate response is that she’s the one that decided to have kids. Yet, if her friends complain about bills, work, or any of their problems, she’d never say, “well, you chose to buy that house or take that job.”
While constantly complaining about kids may be a downer, sharing frustrations with our closest friends as a form of venting should be accepted and is good for mental health.
2. No Respect for Schedules
Next, the OP talks about her friend’s disregard for time. For example, if they plan to stop by around 4 pm but then show up 2 hours later, they mess up her baby’s bath and bedtime- ultimately leading to a tired and grumpy baby that misses their bedtime.
She says, “That sort of thing was fine (if a little rude) when we were single and responsibility free, but now it genuinely f***s up my night.” Next time, she won’t let them in.
3. Adding Guilt for Making a Plan in Advance
Now that the mom is responsible for caring for her child at all times (being a mom is a constant with little ones), it would make sense that she has to plan ahead if she wanted to do anything without her baby. This requires coordinating with her husband.
Her friends give her crap for asking permission from her husband to get out of the house. The community responds: Really? Is she supposed to leave the baby home alone?
4. Your House Looks Like Crap
Her friends have commented that her house is no longer “aesthetically” pleasing due to the mess and baby stuff everywhere.
Once again, the community responds with: why don’t they offer to help you instead of ridicule you? That’s what a true friend would do. Seriously.
5. You’re Wasting Your Life Away
The OP enjoys being a stay-at-home mom. Yet her friends keep telling her that she’s wasting her time and potential at home.
“I’ve always been clear that I wanted to be a stay-at-home parent if we could afford it. Just like you’ve always been clear that you are child-free. I don’t push for you to have kids, so why push me into the career you think I should have?” She says.
6. Your Child is a Parasite
She says that her friends have started jokingly referring to her baby as a “parasite” and “cr**ch goblin.” Not surprisingly, these nicknames were uncalled for and insulting to the mom.
7. Translation: I Don’t Deserve to Be Your Friend
In conclusion, the mom writes, “I know and have always known you were childfree. I’m not pushing you [to] have kids, or spend time with mine if you don’t want to. Constantly talking negatively about my life and my child is not waving a flag for those who are childfree. You’re being a bad friend.”
Aside from a few other child-free jerks in the thread, the mom received boundless support. Many childfree users spoke up, saying they love being an auntie or uncle to their friend’s kids. Others said they don’t particularly enjoy kids but respect their friends with them and try to schedule the occasional outing without kids.
Ultimately, the mom deserves better friends. Ones who support her journey rather than making her feel constantly ashamed. And there are plenty of them out there!
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