30 Disastrous Baby Names That Parents Sadly Name Their Kids
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Selecting a name for a newborn is a significant responsibility for new parents, as it significantly shapes a child’s identity. However, what happens when the chosen name turns out undeniably cringe-worthy? Some parents strive to break away from tradition, at times exploring realms that evoke bewilderment, leaving others puzzled and scratching their heads.
A popular online forum thread shares names people can’t believe are real, answering the question, “What baby name immediately makes you lose all respect for the parents and why?”
1. Nick Cannon’s Kids
“Any of Nick Cannon’s kids’ names. They are all so over the top bad.
Moroccan, Monroe, Golden Sagon, Rise Messiah, Powerful Queen, Zion Mixolydian, Zillion Heir, Beautiful Zeppelin, Legendary Love, Onyx Ice Cole and Zen. Why?”
2. Bar Names
“Any name as alcohol. Chardonnay, Tequila, etc. Saw those a lot as a teacher. Had a male student named Crash Danger. Not kidding.” Hopefully, their names won’t be self-fulfilling prophecies.
3. Getting “Cute” with Spelling
“Joaux (Joe) is a personal favorite.” Anytime people try to spell a name in a crazy way, eyebrows start to raise.
4. Strange Spelling
“I know someone who named their kid Chozyn. The kid wasn’t adopted either.” That’s a double whammy with strange spelling and a name in one.
5. Cryptic Code Names
“I was reading a kid’s glasses prescription the other day and saw his name was Xizteighn. Asked how it was pronounced and the mom said “like the number.” took me a moment to realize she meant 16.”
A number for a name is weird enough; making it cryptic is a bit over the top.
6. A Nickname for What?
“Mike but short for Micycle.” This one had users giggling to themselves- so strange.
7. Why the X’s?
“All the names with X thrown in the middle or even two. Jaxxtley. Braxxton. Braxley. I hate them.” Some users note X is used as a “silent” placeholder, which is an incorrect use of the letter.
8. But It Rhymes!
“My brother once had clients named Jerry and Mary Derryberry. We didn’t believe him so he took a picture of whatever account papers. (Don’t even remember what his job was at the time, who gives a sh**). But the series of events to have a married couple be named Jerry and Mary Derryberry is just so delicious.” Meant to be?
9. Is That a Spelling Mistake?
“Horribly misspelled to seem different. The irony is that my boyfriend’s name is Krysteffer.” Ouch.
10. A Run on Sentence
“Youandi. It stands for you and I, horrible.” What a strange idea.
11. Double Whammy
“Parents who essentially give their kids the same first name as their last name. Robert Roberts, William Williams, etc. (I know one of each in real life). It seems purposefully cruel.”
12. Pun Intended?
“A guy running for some office near me is named Rocky Rhodes. How does one look at their tiny newborn and think…. “Rocky! Looks like a Rocky to me. And you know how much I love ice cream!”
13. Cute or Lazy?
“A girl I know, her name is Baby Sasha. She said we can call her baby. Her parents were clearly lazy to come up with a proper name.”
14. Are You Sure That’s Right?
“I’ve met a baby named Felonee and that takes the cake.” Um, did they forget what the word means?
15. It’s Spelled Backward
“Nevaeh is my all time most hated name. A friend of my sister was pregnant years ago with her daughter. When I asked her what she was going to name her and she said “Nevaeh, because it’s heaven spelled backward”. I thought she was being sarcastic because of how sickeningly sweet she said it, so I laughed hysterically. Couldn’t recover from that one, I totally looked like an AH, but I think she’s the bigger one for actually naming her daughter that name.”
16. Inanimate Objects
“Reighfyl, pronounced “rifle.” Hm, many agreed that’s pretty strange. Next, it’ll be lamp, table, chair, etc.
17. Getting Too Literal
“When AL Gore was VP, I had a meeting with him. There was a lawyer speaking on the panel. Her name was Baby Girl Smith. She had not let a dumb name hold her back.” Good for her, but ouch.
18. Misspelled
“Got a student named “Yeyson”. The mom got pi**ed when I was saying “ Yay-son”. She yells at me “It’s Jason like English!” Well lady, maybe f*****g spell it like English then.”
19. Strange Combinations
“There’s a kid who goes to a daycare near where I work named “Stone Blaze” but answers to “Hunter.” The worst part is that he’s a junior; his father has the same name.” And the history of bad names continue…
20. Body Parts
“Worked at a hospital for many years. One of the obstetric nurses had to talk a new mom out of naming her child “Urethra”.” Hmm, there are so many reasons that’s a hard no.
21. Popular Fictional Objects
“I used to be on tumblr back in the day of Supernaturals glory, and someone named their poor child “Destiel”. I get it, you like the ship. But you have an actual child that is TOTALLY gonna be pi***d you named your kid after a fictional relationship on a show about demons and other supernatural things. The lack of respect or forethought like???” Share a user. Some users agreed and said they could have at least picked a real name from the series, not the name of a boat.
22. Tony?
Strange spellings for common names continue. One user says “Ptoughkniegh (Tony)”, another “Toeknee.”
23. Impossible to Pronounce
“My uber driver’s name was “Tiphane” – I tried to pronounce it “tie-phain” and she corrected me that it’s pronounced “Tiffany.”” Shares a user.
24. After a Country
“When I was working at a motel, I took a phone reservation from a woman for her daughter: Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A… is the name of a woman. Me: Oh, like in the country! Woman: What do you mean, country?!” Shares one user.
25. Royal Natured Names
“Anything having to do with royalty or religious hierarchy titles. Lord, King, Queen, Saint, etc…” Shares another writer. Seems a bit over the top.
26. Social Media Jargon
In 2012, a couple from the United States named their baby boy “Hashtag Jameson.” This name was inspired by the popular hashtag symbol used on social media platforms.
27. The Literal Alphabet
How about Abcde for a name? This name is pronounced as “Ab-si-dee.” In 2018, a child named Abcde gained attention when a Southwest Airlines employee posted a photo of the child’s boarding pass on social media, sparking a discussion about unique and unconventional baby names.
28. Numbers
Naming a baby after a favorite number, for example the number Seven, is perplexing to many people- making them wonder if their kids are actually race horses.
29. Foreign Words
When unfamiliar with a foreign language, a word can sound “pretty” without the parent understanding it’s true meaning. For example, someone knows a “Malheureux.” They write, “Sounds charming, but in French, it translates to “unhappy” or “unfortunate.”
30. Similar Names for Multiple Siblings
Whether the names are cute, parents naming all of their children similar names can be super confused. For example, one family had a Naia, Kaia, and Maia. What?
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Chozyn. Chozen is a character in Cobra Kai (on Netflix. The character is Japanese.)