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Exhausted from the ceaseless onslaught of annoying spam calls that refuse to relent? While many have resigned themselves to this exasperating facet of contemporary existence, we present a playful and amusing antidote for your consideration. Prepare for a delightful blend of humor and bewilderment as we delve into clever comebacks designed to befuddle those unwanted calls, leaving the spammers scratching their heads in confusion.
1. Cue the Play
An online forum user shares a hilarious story: “Many years ago me and some work cohorts would stage plays for when spam callers would phone in. We’d take scenes from things and do readings, sometimes dramatic, sometimes comical, but things that would always get crazier and crazier. Several times we would try and include the caller in the scene. So these call center people are trying to sell whatever and end up in a makeshift production of King Lear before lunch.”
2. Wrong Number
Someone offers to answer with “Sheriff’s department…is this an emergency?” This will surely make them think they got the wrong number.
3. FBI Directory
Someone writes: “”Thank you for calling the [make up a town name] field office for the FBI. How may I direct your call?” So as not to get into trouble for impersonating an actual federal agency, I actually say “F-P-I”or “S-B-I” rapidly so the sounds are indistinguishable on the fly.”
4. Greet a Long Lost Friend
This is another great option: “Begin the call with excitement, as if you recognize the spam caller as a long-lost friend or relative. Create an elaborate backstory and see how long you can keep them engaged in the imaginary reunion.”
5. Wrong Business
A business owner shares: “I’m getting calls about my “business”. So when they ask, “am I speaking with the owner of ____.” I can say, “No, this is [insert y’all’s responses here].”” You can keep it as serious or funny as you’d like- perhaps a funeral home or adult book store?
6. Warranty Talk
Reverse the roles a bit here, answering: “We’re glad you called! We’ve been meaning to talk with you about your vehicle’s extended warranty…”
7. Role Reversal
Answer the call and immediately dive into something you’d like to sell them. Test your sales skills and give them a taste of their own medicine.
8. Time for a Joke
Create a recorded message that plays a series of hilarious jokes or puns whenever a spam caller connects. Not only will they be caught off guard, but they might even get a chuckle out of it.
9. Language Confusion
Answer the phone speaking an unexpected or made-up language- sure to create some hilarious confusion.
10. A Song About Spammers
Prepare a short and funny song about the absurdity of spam calls. This unexpected performance will surely catch spam callers off guard and provide you with a good laugh.
11. Soft Whispers
Answering in a soft whisper will cause the caller to strain to hear what you’re saying. You can tell them story, tell a joke, or anything that’ll have them confused and ready to hang up.
12. Animal Answers
Answer the phone as your favorite pet- with accompanying barks, meows, or nays.
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