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What’s Halloween without a handful of playful pranks, a surplus of autumnal campfire banter, and a dash of kid-friendly humor? As the most exciting celebration of the year approaches, add some extra laughter to your festivities with these spooky-good jokes.
1. Dead Tired Zombies
At what point do zombies conclude their trick-or-treating escapades? When they become “dead tired!”
2. Skeleton’s Stomach
Why aren’t skeletons fond of Halloween candy? They lack the stomach for it.
What do birds distribute to trick-or-treaters? Tweets.
4. Ghoul’s Favorite Candy
What flavor of candy do ghouls relish the most? Lemon and slime.
5. Weather Skeleton
How did the skeleton predict rain on Halloween? He felt it deep within his bones.
6. Ghost Baby’s Favorite Game
What game does a baby ghost enjoy playing on Halloween? Peek-a-boo.
7. Birds’ Trick-or-Treat
What do birds say on Halloween? “Trick or tweet!”
8. Ghost’s Shopping
Where do ghosts purchase their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
9. Ghost’s Favorite Make-up
What do witches wear when they go trick-or-treating? Mas-scare-a.
Who offers Dracula the most candy on Halloween? His fang club.
Next up: knock-knock jokes. Knock-knock jokes are the denim of the joke world—they never go out of fashion. Here are some Halloween knock-knocks to add to the dad jokes you’re already planning to tell this Halloween.
11. Ben Who?
Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Halloween all year!
12. Essen Who?
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Essen! Essen who? Essen it fun to listen to Halloween jokes.
13. Justin Who?
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time for Halloween.
14. Canoe Who?
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Canoe! Canoe who? Canoe please give me more candy.
15. Can You Spell?
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? Okay, W-H-O.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Norway. Norway who? Norway I will leave until I get candy!
17. Very Excited
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Felix. Felix who? Felix-cited about Halloween.
18. Robbing Robin
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin your candy jar.
19. Hands Off
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans! Hans who? Hans off my candy!
20. A Sneezy Joke
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Hutch. Hutch who? Bless you.
Next up: It’s not a celebration if there’s no food, and all the pumpkin pie and soup bowls are a testament to this. Looking for some hilarious Halloween jokes to tell around the dinner table? Look no further.
21. How To Make Squash
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin from the roof? Squash.
22. Spare Ribs
What did the skeleton bring to the dinner party? Spare-ribs.
23. Monster Eggs
How do monsters prepare their eggs? Terror-fried.
24. Zombie’s Candy
What is a zombie’s least favorite candy? Life Savers.
What is a zombie’s favorite kind of bean? A human bean.
26. Grounded Coffee
Why couldn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? It was grounded.
27. Ice Cream
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
28. A Ghost’s Spaghetti
What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
29. Panda Meal
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
30. A Vampire’s Cafeteria
Where does a vampire eat his lunch? In the casketeria.
Next up: Monster jokes. The monsters lurking beneath the beds have emerged just in time for Halloween, and they certainly deserve their share of spooky jokes. Take a look at these if you’re itching to give the kids a good fright with some monster tales and humor.
31. A Vampire’s Thanksgiving
What holiday does a vampire love more than Halloween? Fangs-giving.
What do you say when you catch a ghost? I got you, boo!
33. A Witch’s Switch
How do you turn the lights out on Halloween night? Use the lights witch.
34. Are Humans Real?
What did one ghost say to the other? Do you believe in humans?
35. Married Spiders
What do you call two married spiders? The newly webs.
36. Skeleton’s Helicopter
What transportation does a skeleton take? A skelecopter.
37. Hide and Shriek
What is a monster’s favorite game? Hide and shriek.
38. Dizzy Witch
What made the witch go to the hospital? She had a dizzy spell.
What did Dracula say about his wife? It was love at first bite.
40. A Ghost’s Boutique
Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques!
During Halloween, there are two things you can never have too much of—laughter and candy.
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