32 Clever One-Liners for a Soul-Lifting Laugh
JayDee VykoukalThis post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Looking for a rapid injection of humor? Look no further! These witty one-liners serve as the perfect antidote when you’re craving a light-hearted chuckle or could use a delightful pick-me-up. Immerse yourself in the world of humor and relish the laughter!
1. A Thought Provoking Question
“Why do noses run but feet smell?”
2. Embrace Mistakes
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big hug.”
3. Smart Alec
“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
4. Watch Upcycling
“I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.”
5. Winston Churchhill Wit
“He occasionally stumbled over the truth but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened”
6. Truthful Irony
“Always borrow money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back.”
7. Bible Fun
“And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and won a toaster.”
8. Will Ferrell Jokes
“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.”
9. Passive Aggressive
“Some people just need a gentle pat… on the head… with a hammer.”
10. Change of Opinion
“Communist until you get rich, feminist until you get married, atheist until the airplane starts falling.”
11. Daddy-Son Love
A 4-year-old son to his dad after a trip to Asia, “I forgot your face, but I remembered you’re fat!”
12. Silly Lines
“Dyslexics of the world: Untie!”
13. Interview Shenanigans
“Employer: Why should I hire you? Me: Because I don’t have a job.”
14. People Pleaser
“Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them.”
15. Playing with the Weather
“I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.”
16. Science Fun
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
17. Time Travel
“I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.”
18. Facial Expressions
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
19. Magical Music
“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
20. Special Diet
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!”
21. Book Fun
“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
22. No Extreme Sports
“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
23. Don’t Go First
“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
24. Cheesy Candy Humor
“I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit Kat bars.”
25. Pearly Whites
Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
26. Paranoid Books
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.’
27. Which Fruit?
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
28. Dance Fun
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
29. Friendships That Last
I’m friends with all electricians. We have such great current connections.
30. Bathroom Drama
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
31. Never-ending Number Battles
Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
32. Be Mindful Sometimes
Dance like nobody’s watching. Email like it may one day be read in a deposition.
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