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12 Ways to Build Resilience Against Life’s Trolls

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In the face of offense, whether intentional or inadvertent, our natural human response often influences our emotions and general well-being. However, it’s vital to recognize that our reaction in these instances is a matter of choice. Developing resilience and honing emotional control can effectively shield us from undue impacts on our mood or the trajectory of our day.

Here are a few ways that can help you stay above the offenses?

1. Recognize Your Value

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Some words are hurled at you with the sole intention of demeaning you. If you’re not cognizant of your worth, you will tend to believe other people’s negative words, which may affect your self-esteem.

Know your worth, then add tax.

2. Don’t Overthink

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Some people’s ill-treatment of you has little to do with you but with the person’s own insecurities.

Overthinking and jumping to conclusions makes slight situations worse. If a person seems unbecoming towards you, but you’re unsure, soberly analyze the situation and don’t jump to conclusions. They’re not worth your time.

3. Don’t Be Too Concerned About Others’ Opinions

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If we worry too much about what others think of us, everything they do or say will affect us. Our emotions will perpetually be hinged on their thoughts about us, and that’s an unhealthy way to live.

While our reputation should matter to us, it should not enslave us to other people’s opinions of us.

4. Don’t Hold On To Offenses

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You will inevitably clash with one or two people at one time, and learning to let go of things easily will help you mentally and emotionally.

Holding on to grudges leads to bitterness, which is unhealthy and hurts you more than your offender.

5. Stay Busy

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There will be little time to obsess over other people’s actions when your calendar is full of things you love doing, people you enjoy, and activities that increase your income.

Remember to have self-care activities on that calendar too.

6. Separate Facts From Feelings

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Try to separate the facts of a situation from your emotional reaction to it. Just because something happens, doesn’t mean it’s a personal attack.

It’s possible that you may be misinterpreting someone’s actions or motives and blowing them out of proportion.

7. Develop A Growth Mindset

18. Cute Squid for Dinner (text: A man shares that his wife is an animal lover and was delighted to get to play with local squid in a glass bowl at dinner at a Chinese Restaurant. Sadly, he shares, “Two courses later they reappeared... as entrees, floating on a glass plate lit up from below and arranged to look like they’re swimming.” They’re married but she still gives him crap.) 19. Tattoo Diss (text: A man shares an ironic encounter with his now wife, “On my first date with my wife, we got to talking about tattoos. I have a rule that if I have an idea for a tattoo, I sit on it for a while to see if I really would still want it. I mentioned this to her and explain how glad I am that I do this because otherwise I'd be covered in Tool (the band) tattoos or some "other dumb shit". She rolled up her sleeve to show me that she had the lyrics to one of their songs tattooed across her arm.” Oops.) 20. Moving During Busy Season (text: One man say she had a great first date but then got super busy with work for over a month. By the time he got back in touch, she has moved to another city. Oops! Thankfully, he reports they did long distance and eventually got married.
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Some piercing words or feedback will be more beneficial if we consider it an opportunity for personal growth and learning.

Criticism is an opportunity to improve.

8. Limit Negativity From Your Life

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Certain people tend to exude perpetual negativity and will have you second-guessing yourself and thinking there’s something wrong with you most of the time.

Minimize exposure to people or situations that consistently bring negativity into your life. This can help reduce the likelihood of taking things personally.

9. Set Boundaries

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Establish and communicate your personal boundaries to keep people from overstepping.

When people know what’s acceptable to you, they are less likely to cross those boundaries, reducing the potential for personal offense.

10. Practice Resilience

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If you build your ability to bounce back from setbacks and challenges, you will get the necessary muscles to respond to criticism.

11. Learn To Step Back And Calm Down

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If something bothers you, it’s okay to step back, calm down, and reflect before reacting. This can help prevent impulsive, emotionally charged responses.

12. See A Therapist

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Some people take things personally as a reaction to something that happened earlier in life. If your tendency to take matters personally is affecting your relationships and well-being, consider seeking professional help.

A therapist can help you work through underlying issues and develop strategies for managing your reactions.


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