17 Funny Parenting Quotes About the Realities of Parenthood

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Parenting requires a good sense of humor. The comedic side of parenthood is universal; we’ve all either come across or personally lived through those shared moments and amusing phrases.

Relive your childhood or parenting moments with these funnies a parent has said or done somewhere.

1. Raising Headstrong People

No one wants to raise a timid little person, but raising strong-willed people means you’ll have to deal with their strong will at some point, and it won’t be fun.

“I want my children to be independent, headstrong people. Just not while I’m raising them.” -Catherine from thinkorblue.com

2. A Worthy Journey

“Parenthood is a journey, except it’s just traveling from room to room, putting away the same toys all day long.” —@OneFunnyMummy

Every parent stepping on Lego agrees.

3. Permanent Tattoo

“Having a child is like getting a tattoo … on your face. You better be committed.” — Elizabeth Gilbert. 

Commitment is the name of the game.

4. Favorite Time Of The Day

“My favorite part of parenting is after I drop my kids off at school. I’m kidding. It’s after they go to bed.” —@CallMeDraper

You can’t blame a parent for wanting some quiet time.

5. A Frat House

“Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” —Ray Romano.

That sounds about right!

6. Be Nice

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” — Phyllis Diller.

Parenting is a circle, you parent them today, and they parent you tomorrow.

7. Who Owns Nap Time?

“Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us?” —Alyson Hannigan

If the kids don’t take a nap, the parents get cranky.

8. The Kids’ Sure Call

“Save your voice calling for your kids. Just open a bag of chips and they’ll materialize out of nowhere.” —@ThisOneSayz

They’re deaf until the wrapper starts rustling.

9. A Sandwich Catastrophe

“Hell hath no fury like a toddler who’s sandwich has been cut into squares when they wanted triangles.” —Anonymous 

We have all witnessed the earth-shattering meltdown. It’s not pretty.

10. A Topless Blender

“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” —Jerry Seinfeld

Chaos, chaos everywhere.

11. A Child’s “Love”

“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” — Better Davis

That’s the only way you know you’re doing a good job.

12. Karma Is A Child

“My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.” —Anonymous

Sometimes, life gives you a mini-you in attitude instead of looks.

13. Vital Questions

“Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is: Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?” —@RobFee

Are you, really?

14. Referee

“Having one child makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.” —David Frost 

Seriously though, some days it is all about keeping the younger one alive and safe from the older one.

15. Spontaneity

“Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I’m not spontaneous anymore. Will I get out of these pajama pants today? Maybe… maybe NOT. You just don’t know.” —@DivergentMama

Mommas are spontaneous, too, just a different version of it.

16. Shopping Tips

“The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.” —@relaxingmommy

Unless you want to run around the mall for hours and break your hips.

17. How To Find Your Kids

“Can’t find your kids? Don’t worry; sit on the toilet. They’ll find you.” —@MamaJessieC

No rest for Mommy.

Source

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