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16 Hilariously Ridiculous Things We Believed as Kids

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Children often have a unique way of interpreting information that may not align with our adult expectations. Their limited experience and innocence can lead to the formation of peculiar beliefs stemming from everyday conversations. It’s important to recognize that most children are susceptible to entertaining wild ideas and accumulating a treasury of random “facts” as they navigate the world.

An online forum user asked, “What’s a silly belief you had when you were a little kid?” Get ready to laugh and be shocked.

1. Fires Everywhere

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Fire drills are necessary and life-saving, but it would be prudent to give a disclaimer to kids that humans are not easily combative.

After numerous Stop, Drop, and Roll lessons, one online forum user believed people on fire was a frequent occurrence.

2. Gangsta Santa

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One online user believed that Santa doesn’t just give coal to the naughty kids; he’s also a gang leader with little minions who steals things from naughty kids.

This was implanted in his mind after getting a scolding from his dad for losing his bike. The problem is, he had seen older kids stealing bikes in the neighborhood.

3. EMT Squid and Squad

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New words can confuse kids, and they relate it with the next best-known word. For one online user, that word was “squad.”

He says, “When I was real little I heard EMTs/first responders referred to as “the rescue squad,” but I had never heard the word “squad” in any other context and didn’t know what it meant. All I knew was it reminded me of squid. So…kinda thought the ambulance was being driven by a big squid.”

Squids have excellent vision, a squid driver isn’t a very bad idea.

4. Mountains as Dinosaur Graves

Austrian fairy tail town mountains lake europe
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Have you been wondering where mountains came from? One online user shares a memory from childhood.

They believed that “Mountains are where the dinosaurs died and were covered by dirt. Basically, dinosaur graves.”

Seems plausible.

5. Sleeping Policemen

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The best place for a cop to hide and catch you breaking traffic laws is right on the road! One online contributor believed speed bumps were policemen lying waiting to puncture the tires of delinquent motorists.

That would be interesting to see!

6. Male Dogs and Female Cats

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Did you know that all dogs are male and all cats are female? Or so one child thought.

Surprisingly, they aren’t alone. Someone else adds, “I used to believe this too as a kid until I told my sister, and she told me, “But our dog Misty is a girl…” to which my dumba** responded with, “She’s special.”

Another person says they believed “Dogs and cats are the same species, dogs were the males and cats were the females.”

Dogs and cats are the same species; dogs were the males, and cats were the females.”

We can’t argue with baby facts, can we?

7. Vietnamese Battle Gorillas

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A user who didn’t read much was confused by his history class on the guerilla war in Vietnam.

He says, “I spent the following 4-5 years thinking that a part of the Vietnam war included trained battle gorillas absolutely sh****g on American troops.”

Later, his girlfriend was Vietnamese. Oops.

8. Red Head Danger

eyebrow raise confused disgusted confused redhead woman
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Only about 2% of the human population are redheads. This fact is fuel for a lot of myths.

One online user says they believed “That redheads were aliens that could read my mind.”

9. Don’t Swallow Watermelon Seeds

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The mighty watermelon is a super fruit, but it was a major cause of fear for many kids.

An online forum commenter says they believed “if you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon might grow in your stomach.”

We need to apologize to a lot of children.

10. Butterfly Butter

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It can’t be called a butterfly if it doesn’t make butter, right? One dad convinced his child that butter came from butterflies and they would have a butter-making ranch when he retired.

How did the story end? He narrates, “Then my preschool teacher had to wreck everything by making butter-milk in class with a churn.”

There goes a business idea!

11. God’s Favorite Child

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An online user who was also adopted was told that he was “God’s child.”

He believed that so much that he said, “For about three years, I thought I was the second coming of Christ.”

12. Hello, Mr. Moon

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Children don’t understand why the moon chases them, so they make up their own facts.

One user says, “I believed the moon was an assassin trying to chase me in the car, and I’d roll up my window and hide until I was like, maybe 6?”

A more sentimental contributor says, “I thought the moon liked me, and that was why it would follow me when we were in the car. I used to whisper, “I like you too.”

13. Where Does Chocolate Milk Come From?

man with a cow
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For one online forum participant, the idea of chocolate milk was a little complicated.

They believed “Brown cows make chocolate milk.”

Another user added that they believed “That chocolate milk came from brown cows, white milk from white cows, and strawberry milk from red cows.”

What did black cows make? Oreos?

14. Plants in Pain

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One contributor says they believed that “Plants feel pain and bleed. Never pick flowers or plants unnecessarily.”

Another adds that they’d yell at kids not to peel the bark off trees because that was “torturous.”

15. What Would You Like to Be When You Grow Up?

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One user believed strongly in his dreams, possibly after much encouragement and assurance.

He says he belied, “I literally thought that you could be anything when you grew up…ANYTHING! Ex- Cat, butterfly, garbage truck, to name a few.”

I’d consider becoming a cat.

Babies’ minds are blank canvasses; whatever we paint on them stays until adulthood erases it, if they’re lucky.

One user concludes, “Parents and adults, in general, knew what they were doing.”

16. Babies Come From the Store

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One user shares her mom’s explanation that her baby brother would be coming from the store (rather than explaining childbirth)- leading to her trying to figure out how to get on the internet and make sure her baby brother would arrive with the right specs.


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Actress Angelina Jolie
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Kids playing in the room
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For countless grown-ups, this enchanting event served as a poignant reminder of the bygone days when they were engrossed in playful adventures with tangible toys rather than immersed in the world of balance sheets and adulthood.

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pregnant woman laughing
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