13 Things to Stop Doing as a Parent If You Want to Raise an Awesome Kid
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Raising an awesome kid means bringing up a happy child with good values. Most of us are on our own stumbling blocks in the race to be excellent parents. A well-balanced kid doesn’t happen automatically like live yeast; you have to invest in the things that make a kid wholesome.
What things are these, again? Here’s an incomplete handbook of what not to do for parenting that produces awesome kids.
1. Overassisting Them
Kids need help occasionally, but doing everything for them reduces their ability to become independent. A little hardship is OK for a child; it helps them sharpen their problem-solving skills and become resilient.
2. Not Working on Your Marriage
In our quest to care for the kids, we forget that the marriage came before the children. Kids are happier and more stable when they can see their parents being happy and stable.
If you want to demonstrate true values, start by loving your spouse. The kids are watching.
3. Choosing The Wrong Battles
Kids will always find ways to try your patience, and it’s not even on purpose. If you choose to fight with them over the squareness of their carrot cubes and the wrong bowl color, you’ll both be frustrated.
Choose your battles wisely, and only take the ones that will actually keep them from killing themselves or each other. That takes a lot of self-control from your end as a parent.
4. Overdependence on Technology
We buy gadgets, and then we let those gadgets rule over us and our kids. Screens may provide entertainment and buy you silence, but they rob you of precious bonding time with your children.
Couple that with the fact that screens have been proven to reduce a child’s intelligence and affect their academics; it’s wonderful to limit screen time.
5. Having No Time Apart
Hovering over your children all the time and dragging each other everywhere will not only wear you out but also suffocate you all. You need time apart to recharge.
Get the kids alone, especially outdoors, to have fun without you. It’ll give you the much-needed breathing space, and they’ll make other friends who aren’t you.
6. Extravagance
The kid’s fashion and toys keep evolving; there are newer and better clothes every season. Kids will always want the newest flashiest toy and the glowing shoes, but that doesn’t mean you should indulge them.
Teach the kids that not everything they want will be bought for them and that purchases must be planned. Delayed gratification is a great virtue to learn.
7. Keeping Up With The Influencers
Social media has glorified life with all the “I woke up like this” selfies, and some people can’t tell where real life ends and fake begins. Don’t compare your parenting skills and efforts with what the Tiktokers are showing; the smooth transitions to a clean house and kids in bed don’t happen in real life.
Social media will make you feel like you’re failing as a parent, and you don’t need that kind of energy clouding your parenting.
8. Turning A Blind Eye To Misbehaviour
Bad behavior isn’t just a phase that will go away when the kids “know better”. It’s something that should be addressed.
Children must grow up knowing right from wrong, and they must understand that misbehavior deserves a form of “punishment” (which ideally has a positive learning spin and not just shaming or physical threats that are abusive). Address the problem swiftly, and don’t let crimes pile up.
9. Inconsistent Disciplining
The purpose of discipline is to let the child learn from their mistakes and do better next time. If you keep burning hot and cold, the child gets confused about your intentions and the lessons they’re supposed to learn.
Punish what you said you’ll punish, and reward what you said you will reward. Children need stability like a tomato plant needs a prop.
10. Yelling
Raising your voice is scary for a child. To them, you’re a tall giant breathing fire down on their little heads. Yelling at your kids intimidates them and makes them feel small.
Gentle parenting is hard because kids don’t listen. You repeat yourself until you’re sore, and they still won’t stop running around the house naked on Sunday morning. But it is possible…. some days.
11. Expecting Perfection
Kids are anything but perfect, and expecting them to be perfect will be frustrating for both parent and child. A child striving to achieve the perfection their parent expects of them will soon be frustrated, mainly because it’s simply unattainable.
They may turn to destructive ways to cope with failure when they can’t achieve the perfection expected.
12. Comparing Them With Others
Children are different; some are smarter than others, some faster, and some are more talented. Comparing your children with their siblings or friends is a sure way to raise a child with esteem issues as high as the heavens.
13. Forcing Food Down Their Throats
Some children are born with a default setting of hating healthy food, and this single phenomenon has driven many parents to hyperacidity. Instead of hurting yourself trying to make the children eat their greens and carrots, give them a variety of foods and let them choose what they prefer.
If they have to see food as a punishment, they may never enjoy meal times, and the issue can easily backfire and worsen.
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