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The captivating nature of children, with their boundless imaginations and unyielding curiosity, is undeniable. Yet, within their innocence lies a remarkable vulnerability to the narratives spun by friends, family, and other influential adults in their lives.
In this collection, we explore the amusing yet entirely untrue stories shared by online users with their kids, stories that these young minds held onto as gospel for quite some time, serving as a testament to the gullibility that often accompanies childhood.
1. Baby Parts Falling Out
A user said, “I made my buddy’s kid believe that part of growing up was your “baby parts” falling out like baby teeth when he lost a tooth. “Oh buddy, just wait until your baby legs fall off, and you get your adult ones.” Hilarious, but also how horrifying for that little kid that believed him!
2. Monster Repellant
A user said that when he was babysitting, he made the kids believe he could make monster repellent using things found in their mother’s kitchen. It’s a fun and creative way to engage with kids as a babysitter. What a great way to help them conquer their fear of monsters.
3. Dog-Powered Monster Hunting
Who needs monster repellent when you have a dog to eat them? Another user said, “I would toss Cheerios under the bed and let them [the dogs] in while the kid and I sat on the bed encouraging the dogs to get all the monsters as they snuffled and slurped up the Cheerios. Beagles are known for monster hunting, you know.”
4. When I Was a Pirate
Here are some Captain Jack Sparrow vibes. A user shared, “When I was in the Peace Corps, the little kids in my town legitimately believed I was a pirate. I had a gold earring and a big black beard and shared a name with a popular pirate. In the beginning, the adults and older kids called me “Capitán” as a joke, and the little kids just bought it as fact, and the parents and older siblings reinforced it.
So I didn’t “get” them to believe I was a pirate, but once it was established, I told stories about myself that reinforced the illusion.”
5. The Belly Button Screws
A mischievous user said he made his younger siblings believe that “unscrewing your bellybutton makes your butt fall off.” Hilarious and imaginative!
6. Sharing is Caring
Someone writes, “I make my daughter believe her toy tractor needs to borrow her pacifier during the day. So far, it’s been the easiest way to day wean her. She’s very happy to share it with the tractor.” Genius mommy!
7. The New Shoes Magic
A user said, “Those new shoes I bought can make you run faster and jump higher. And then I watch my son run and jump everywhere.” Super cute.
8. Santa is Real
A user shared, “I used to work with kids, and there was this one child who was telling everyone that Santa Claus wasn’t real. It made a lot of kids upset, so I took him aside and explained to him that the Santas we see at the mall aren’t the real Santa, but they are his special friends. You see, Santa is very busy at the North Pole, and he can’t visit every single mall to ask kids what they want for Christmas. So, he sends his friends instead. The child believed it and was so happy because he thought Santa was still real, just really busy!”
9. Colorful Cows and Flavored Milk
Someone shared, “My children think that flavored milk comes from different colored cows. E.g., strawberry-flavored milk comes from pink cows, chocolate-brown cows, and normal milk-white cows.”
10. Your Granny is a Robot
Another fun prank to play with a child’s imagination: “When one of my nieces was about 5, I convinced her that my mom, her Nana, was a robot and that the real Nana moved away to live on the moon.” How silly.
11. The Gender Transforming Shampoo
Another hilarious one. Someone said, “Girls shampoo, I managed to make my younger brother believe that if he uses the wrong shampoo, it’ll slowly turn him into a girl.” That’s one way to keep him from using his mom’s expensive shampoo!
12. The Planets Follow You Everywhere
Someone said, “Not something I’ve said, but it was said to me when I was a little kid. I used to think the sun and moon would follow me everywhere. The reason, my aunt said, is because God loves me.”
13. Dinosaurs Live on Your Body
If your child hates to bathe, try this prank. A user said, “I told my son that dinosaurs live in unlikely places on his body, and he has to clean it properly to ensure they’re all gone. He’ll laugh and tell me there isn’t anything there, and I told him he will never know unless he scrubs. It changed from fighting to get him in the bath to giggling as he got in.” This is a common truck for tooth brushing, whether it’s dinos or some other hidden creature.
14. The Gas Pipe Giggles
Someone said, “The gas pipes were being replaced on our street because we all did too many farts, and they broke. Caused endless laughter from my little one!”
15. Buffaloes are Born With Wings
A funny user said, “A 5-year-old asked if I was eating chicken wings. I told her “no, I’m eating Buffalo wings.” I explained that baby buffaloes are born with wings, and people chop them off so they don’t fly into buildings. Her mom’s face was less than pleased.”
16. Who Controls the Weather?
A mom shares that her daughter often asks, “Why is the weather man sending us bad weather again?” Even after explaining to her several times that he’s only predicting it, she still blames the bad weather on the messenger. Pretty cute.
17. Curly Hair and Bread
One dad shares he convinced his daughter to eat all of her bread crusts because they’d give her beautiful curly hair. What happened several years later when her hair didn’t change?.
18. Fires Everywhere
Fire drills are necessary and life-saving, but it would be prudent to give a disclaimer to kids that humans are not easily combative.
After numerous Stop, Drop, and Roll lessons, one online forum user believed people on fire was a frequent occurrence.
19. EMT Squid and Squad
New words can confuse kids, and they relate it with the next best-known word. For one online user, that word was “squad.”
He says, “When I was real little I heard EMTs/first responders referred to as “the rescue squad,” but I had never heard the word “squad” in any other context and didn’t know what it meant. All I knew was it reminded me of squid. So…kinda thought the ambulance was being driven by a big squid.”
Squids have excellent vision, a squid driver isn’t a very bad idea.
20. Mountains as Dinosaur Graves
Have you been wondering where mountains came from? One online user shares a memory from childhood.
They believed that “Mountains are where the dinosaurs died and were covered by dirt. Basically, dinosaur graves.”
21. Sleeping Policemen
The best place for a cop to hide and catch you breaking traffic laws is right on the road! One online contributor believed speed bumps were policemen lying waiting to puncture the tires of delinquent motorists.
That would be interesting to see!
22. Male Dogs and Female Cats
Did you know that all dogs are male and all cats are female? Or so one child thought.
Surprisingly, they aren’t alone. Someone else adds, “I used to believe this too as a kid until I told my sister, and she told me, “But our dog Misty is a girl…” to which my dumba** responded with, “She’s special.”
Another person says they believed “Dogs and cats are the same species, dogs were the males and cats were the females.”
Dogs and cats are the same species; dogs were the males, and cats were the females.”
We can’t argue with baby facts, can we?
23. Vietnamese Battle Gorillas
A user who didn’t read much was confused by his history class on the guerilla war in Vietnam.
He says, “I spent the following 4-5 years thinking that a part of the Vietnam war included trained battle gorillas absolutely sh****g on American troops.”
Later, his girlfriend was Vietnamese. Oops.
24. Red Head Danger
Only about 2% of the human population are redheads. This fact is fuel for a lot of myths.
One online user says they believed “That redheads were aliens that could read my mind.”
25. Don’t Swallow Watermelon Seeds
The mighty watermelon is a super fruit, but it was a major cause of fear for many kids.
An online forum commenter says they believed “if you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon might grow in your stomach.”
We need to apologize to a lot of children.
26. Butterfly Butter
It can’t be called a butterfly if it doesn’t make butter, right? One dad convinced his child that butter came from butterflies and they would have a butter-making ranch when he retired.
How did the story end? He narrates, “Then my preschool teacher had to wreck everything by making butter-milk in class with a churn.”
There goes a business idea!
27. God’s Favorite Child
An online user who was also adopted was told that he was “God’s child.”
He believed that so much that he said, “For about three years, I thought I was the second coming of Christ.”
28. Plants in Pain
One contributor says they believed that “Plants feel pain and bleed. Never pick flowers or plants unnecessarily.”
Another adds that they’d yell at kids not to peel the bark off trees because that was “torturous.”
29. What Would You Like to Be When You Grow Up?
One user believed strongly in his dreams, possibly after much encouragement and assurance.
He says he belied, “I literally thought that you could be anything when you grew up…ANYTHING! Ex- Cat, butterfly, garbage truck, to name a few.”
I’d consider becoming a cat.
Babies’ minds are blank canvasses; whatever we paint on them stays until adulthood erases it, if they’re lucky.
One user concludes, “Parents and adults, in general, knew what they were doing.”
30. Babies Come From the Store
One user shares her mom’s explanation that her baby brother would be coming from the store (rather than explaining childbirth)- leading to her trying to figure out how to get on the internet and make sure her baby brother would arrive with the right specs.
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