17 Things Stay-at-Home Moms Wish They Knew Before Having Kids

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Many big decisions need to be made when becoming a parent. One of the primary ones is whether both parents will continue working outside the home. Due to budgeting, career goals, and concerns about quality time with little ones, this can be a tough balancing act for many families.

The number of stay-at-home moms (and dads) is on the rise. A survey shows that the number doubled from 2022 to 2023, from 15 to 22% in the U.S. The primary reason cited for this growing number of moms is the lack of adequate childcare. No matter how what a mom chooses, motherhood is a beautiful journey. Yet, every stay-at-home mom knows it’s no walk in the park and comes with its stigmas.

Before entering the world of parenting, there are a few nuggets of wisdom online moms wish they had known (and we will now share with you). From endless patience to the power of self-care, let’s uncover the 15 things stay-at-home moms wish they had known. 

1. A Feeling of Loneliness and Boredom

One of the unexpected things that many stay-at-home moms wish they knew was the occasional wave of boredom and loneliness they experienced. Amidst the diapers and feeding schedules, there are moments when the routine can feel monotonous, and the absence of adult interaction can lead to isolation. 

Acknowledging these feelings is the first step towards overcoming them. Introducing variety into your day and connecting with other moms can change your boring routine into joyful moments.  

2. You Start Questioning Your Decisions

Becoming a mom often brings immense joy, but it can also be a transformative journey that takes a toll on confidence. From the uncertainties of parenting decisions to the changes in one’s body and lifestyle, confidence can shatter.

Embracing the new realities of motherhood and seeking support from other parents, family, or friends can be crucial in rebuilding and maintaining self-assurance. In a world filled with opinions, it can also help to stay offline and trust your instincts to raise your kids to the best of your abilities.

3. Your Productivity Takes a Backseat

The arrival of a new baby reshapes your daily routine, and spare time becomes rare. Most parents wonder what they did with all their free time before their kids. Balancing the demands of motherhood with productivity can be challenging, but with planning and realistic expectations (aka letting go of perfection), you can make the most of the precious moments available. 

Prioritize your tasks, multitasking when possible, and seeking support from your partner or loved ones can help you maintain a sense of productivity in this new chapter of life. Making adjustments to your daily routine and realizing you won’t be able to do it all is also an important mindset shift.

5. Finding Your Mom-Tribe is a Game Changer

Many stay-at-home moms wish they knew that finding and connecting with like-minded people can make all the difference. Whether through local parenting groups, online communities, or friendships formed at baby classes, having a supportive tribe enables a sense of belonging, shared wisdom, and emotional support.

Find women who are going through similar struggles as you and support each other in thriving in this stage of life.  

6. Take Out Time for Your Partner No Matter What

Amidst the demands of parenting, finding moments for your husband may seem like an additional challenge, but it’s crucial for your relationship. Even when fatigue sets in and time feels scarce, prioritizing quality moments with your partner helps sustain the foundation of your connection.

It can feel easier to neglect your partner when you get caught up in the day-to-day business. But ultimately, you might unintentionally isolate yourself from one of the most important relationships in your life.  

7. Self-care is Important

After having a baby, your body changes a lot. Yet, it’s easy to neglect it as you focus all your attention on your little one. Unfortunately, this can burn you out.

Join a gym with childcare, care for your skin even when tired, and make time for yourself outside the house weekly. A good nighttime skincare routine (or any bedtime routine) helps many women relax. Remember, being a mom means finding a new you, keeping what you like, and understanding your role. It can be emotional and scary, so take care of yourself.

7. Be More Present Than Perfect

Many moms put so much pressure on themselves as new moms, which has major effects on physical and mental health. It’s time to ditch the ideal image of what a mom should be and embrace all the messy parts that make you unique.

Your kids don’t need you to be perfect; they want you to be there. Life can be busy and demanding, but being present with your children is more important than meeting unrealistic standards. Focus on being there for your kids—laugh, cry, and share their excitement. It’s the best thing you can do for their happiness and good for you too. 

8. You are Trading Your Freedom for a Purpose 

Becoming a stay-at-home mom means trading in some of the freedom you’d have if you went to a daily job, but it comes with a powerful new purpose. Your decisions now impact your children, and while spontaneous plans may be limited, you’re nurturing a miracle – a new life that could change the world.

It’s important to remember: you get to be there by their side for all the big and little moments of life. It’s a blessing if we can keep perspective as much as possible.

9. Motherhood is the Ultimate Learning Experience

Being a mother is an indescribable and profound experience that unfolds as you navigate it. With the birth of your baby comes the birth of a mom, too.

You learn something new every day. It mixes amazement, challenges, and deep satisfaction, making it a unique and rewarding adventure.

10. There is No Escape

The role of a mom is relentless. There’s no clocking out, no breaks, and no sick days, leading to blurred lines between work and personal time. Learning how to share the responsibilities with your partner (openly discussing expectations) and allowing yourself moments to step away is essential in maintaining balance and preventing feeling overwhelmed. 

11. Don’t Let Society Downplay Your Important Role

Society often downplays the importance of being a stay-at-home mom, making it easy for women to feel undervalued and unappreciated. Being home is often viewed as “lazy” or “easy” compared to working, even though not staying at home would require a paid service: childcare.

Being there for your kids and providing them with love and guidance is an invaluable contribution to society. Don’t let societal expectations or judgments diminish your impact on your child’s life and future. Embrace the role of a stay-at-home mom with pride, knowing you are making a difference in your child’s life and shaping the future generation.

12. Don’t Worry About Others Opinions

As a stay-at-home mom, you will encounter people who don’t understand or appreciate your choice to be at home (as mentioned earlier). Instead of engaging in debates or trying to prove yourself, it’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is unique and personal.

Don’t let others’ opinions dictate how you feel about your role as a mom. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you and your family. After all, you are the one who knows what’s best for your child and your family dynamic. Embrace your decision to be a stay-at-home mom, and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

13. Get Off Social Media

It’s easy to compare your life as a stay-at-home mom to the highlight reels on social media. Remember that what people post is often carefully curated and doesn’t always reflect reality.

Instead of scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, focus on being present with your kids and enjoying your moments together. Comparison only leads to self-doubt and undermines the value of your journey as a stay-at-home mom. Allow yourself to disconnect from social media and embrace your unique experience.

14. You Don’t Have to Like Every Moment

Being a stay-at-home mom is full of ups and downs, and it’s okay to not like every moment. There will be days when you are exhausted, overwhelmed, or just need a break – and that’s completely normal.

Don’t feel guilty for having these feelings; they don’t make you any less of a loving and devoted mother. Acknowledge your emotions and remember that tomorrow is a new day. It’s essential to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being in order to be the best mom you can be.

15. It’s Okay to Apologize

Many moms share online the importance of gentle parenting (aka never yelling or losing your temper). However, we’re all human. If you yell, what’s more important is showing your kids how to take ownership, apologize, and do better next time. 

Your children need to know that it’s okay to make mistakes and that apologies are necessary for any healthy relationship. They will learn from you how to handle their own emotions and admit when they’re wrong, which will ultimately help them grow into kind and empathetic individuals.

16. Set the Ultimate Example

The bottom line is simple: your kids thrive when you thrive. By taking care of yourself, being confident, and embracing the role of a stay-at-home mom, you are setting an example for your children to prioritize self-care and follow their path in life.

Everyone may not understand or appreciate your decision to stay at home, but your kids will see firsthand the love and dedication that goes into being a stay-at-home mom.

17. You Can Change Your Mind

Lastly, knowing that your decision to be a stay-at-home mom is not set in stone is important. If at any point you feel the need or desire to return to work, you can explore your options with your partner.

Being a stay-at-home mom does not define who you are as a person, and sometimes changes in circumstances or personal goals may lead you down a different path. The most important thing is to do what feels right for you and your family at any given time.

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12 Stigmas Around Stay-at-Home Moms That It’s Time to Ditch

Are you a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) who’s faced judgmental remarks or dealt with misconceptions about your choice? Let’s face it: in today’s world, the role of a stay-at-home mom is often accompanied by stigmas that need a serious upgrade.

Despite the evolving landscape of gender roles, outdated perceptions remain around those who choose to dedicate themselves to home and family. Let’s explore these stigmas that need to be ditched once and for all.

12 Stigmas Around Stay-at-Home Moms That It’s Time to Ditch

10 Ways Stay-at-Home Moms Can Thrive and Make a Happy Home

Being a SAHM can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling, but it can also leave a Mom feeling forgotten and overworked. Moms working from home effectively manage household responsibilities and sometimes even contribute to the family income. Despite the challenges of being a SAHM, every mom should strive to thrive and be happy in their working from home role.

Here are some valuable tips on thriving in this noble endeavor.

10 Ways Stay-at-Home Moms Can Thrive and Make a Happy Home