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12 Silly Ways to Covertly Swear in Front of the Kids

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Occasionally, the most fitting way to convey the intensity of a moment is through a precisely chosen expletive. However, when young ears are present, the importance of exercising self-restraint and choosing words carefully becomes paramount. In situations where the desire to swear collides with the need to maintain a child-friendly atmosphere, creative alternatives offer a resourceful means of expressing oneself.

On an online forum, someone asked, “What are your favorite child-friendly swearwords?”

You will love the creativity shared.

1. Cheese and Crackers

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A football coach who didn’t want to use “Jesus Christ” in front of his team made up a rhyming alternative, “cheese cracker.”

2. Cheese and Rice

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Cheese and rice is another way to say “Jesus Christ” without offending anyone, least of all the good Lord.

3. Shiitake Mushrooms

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If the word “s**t escapes your tongue at an inappropriate time, do what they say in Spy kids, “Shiitake Mushrooms.” You can add ‘Holy’ at the beginning to emphasize.

4. Fudgesicle

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F*** is already too forbidden as a word to say in front of a child, but “fudgesicle” feels acceptable. An online contributor gives this curse-word alternative.

5. Holy Shut

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The kids will probably still know what you wanted to say, but you can’t be quoted in court.

6. Shut…the Front Door

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This is probably one of the common kid-friendly cuss alternatives.

7. Sunny Beaches

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We know how a sentence that starts with “Son-of…” ends. An online discussion contributor has found a more radiant way to say that. Sunny beaches make you want to pack your bags immediately.

8. Fruit and Basket

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Calling someone a “f***g b*st**d is not very nice. But if you see someone who looks or acts like they deserve it, say “fruit and basket” instead.

9. Son-of-a-Brisket

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A user says this is his best way to use a curse phrase as a kid-friendly alternative.

10. Son-of-a-Biscuit

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Similarly, another online forum user says this is a go-to phrase when they need to call out a misbehaving person in the presence of kids.

11. Mother-Father

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This is a great alternative to motherf****r.

You can make up your creative kid-friendly curse alternatives.

12. Oh, For the Love of Pickles!

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Keep the Lord’s name out of it and joke about pickles instead. This a fun way to diffuse any tense situation into laughter over pickles, too.


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