24 of the Funniest Things Kids Thought Were True About Pregnancy
JayDee VykoukalThis post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Ideas surrounding conception, pregnancy, and childbirth may appear abstract and perplexing to the impressionable minds of children. Nevertheless, their boundless imagination often sparks remarkably creative interpretations of the entire journey of pregnancy.
Plus, kids aren’t afraid to share their funny ideas with the people around them. Kids have said the following things to their pregnant moms, aunts, and beyond are hysterical. Keep reading for a good laugh.
1. How Will Your Baby Come Out?
It’s pretty normal for kids to have questions about how a baby will be delivered. It’s up to the adults to decide how they will explain it to them and whether they’ll spare them some details.
One woman’s 7-year-old nephew reports that he’s excitedly asking her questions and telling her to be extra careful to keep the baby safe. When on vacation together, he asked whether the baby would come out of her “pee-pee” or if they would cut her open.
Her nephew was a preemie delivered by c-section, and has heard a lot about his birth. He proceeds to tell her that he had to be cut out because he wasn’t getting any food and would have died, which wouldn’t have been fun. His aunt was dying from laughter at this point over his matter-of-fact statements.
2. I Don’t Want to Have a Baby on The Toilet
Where that baby will come out of can get confused and lead to some major (and hilarious) confusion.
Another pregnant woman reports that her friend’s six-year-old casually started telling her that if she didn’t want to “poop out” her baby, she could have the baby cutout too. The girl recommended the latter because she wouldn’t want to have a baby in the toilet.
3. Did You Drink the Baby Juice?
Many parents are afraid to discuss the true “birds and the bees” narratives when their kids ask where babies come from. Thus, when put on the spot- the explanations can get pretty darn funny.
One pregnant woman reports that her 5-year-old godson was excited to learn of her pregnancy and wanted to name the baby Harrod. He then looked her straight in the eyes and said, ‘so [her husband’s name] made the baby juice, and you drank it?’
Everyone was laughing so hard. That poor kid is in for a rude awakening someday when he realizes his dad’s story is all wrong.
4. Are You Having a Baby Too?
Based on their belly size, kids can be brutal in their assumptions about who’s pregnant.
One woman’s nephew asked if his uncle was also having a baby, given that the size of his belly was similar to his pregnant wife’s. Ouch!
5. I’ll Keep Your Baby Safe
Kids can say the sweetest things about pregnancy and expecting a baby too.
One pregnant mom was having a sweet moment with her sister-in-law’s 2 girls as they went through some of their old clothes together to pass on to their soon-to-be-born cousin. One girl said she’d take good care of her cousin and wouldn’t let her go into the street.
The to-be mom thought it was all sweet until the street was mentioned; now she’s wondering if she should be worried about the shenanigans the cousins will get into together.
6. Where’s the Soap?
Baby showers are fun, but what the heck are they even about?
One pregnant’ woman’s 3-year-old nephew was confused and concerned about why no one brought soap to the shower. How else would they wash the baby? He was assured that he could use his paw patrol soap but that the baby didn’t need to be washed today (even though he asked when they’d wash the baby several times. )
7. Is Your Belly Okay?
Those pregnant bellies can go through a lot of changes.
One woman’s 3-year-old son asked her if her belly was okay because it looked like it was cracking. She laughed and explained to him what stretch marks are.
8. Are You Sure You Know What You’re Doing?
Some kids think they know it all, and their assumptions are hysterical.
One woman’s 6-year-old niece has been arguing with her for months about breastfeeding versus bottle feeding. She is super confused about why her aunt would want to nurse her baby when she can just use a bottle (even though her niece was breastfed too). The niece also keeps telling her aunt that a c-section is the only way to get a baby out.
Needless to say, the aunt reports that her niece has serious doubts about her parenting abilities, haha.
9. Let That Baby Breathe!
How does a baby in a belly eat or breathe? It’s a legitimate concern.
One woman’s 6-year-old was convinced that babies breathe through a mom’s belly button. So when he saw his mom’s belly all wrapped up in pants and belly support, he quickly pulled it away from the mom’s belly and exclaimed, “let the baby breathe!”
10. That’s Not My Uncle’s Baby
In a child’s mind, it’s confusing to figure out who’s having who’s baby.
One woman’s niece is excited about her new cousin but is adamant that the baby is only her aunt’s. When her uncle (her aunt’s husband) is mentioned, the girl is quick to say that the baby is not her uncle because he can’t be a daddy. I guess she wants to keep her dear uncle to herself!
11. Is She Here Yet?
Nine months is a long time for kids.
One woman’s 4-year-old has a lot of questions for her mom: “Why are you crying” “Why are you throwing up again?” “When will my baby sister be here?”
It can be hard to wait so long to meet a new baby sister that everyone keeps talking about!
12. How Does the Baby Get Out?
This is a valid question that most kids will inevitably ask.
One pregnant woman reports that she’s a kindergarten teacher. One of her students asked if the baby would come out of her belly, to which one kid loudly said, “no, it’ll come out of her butt!” The teacher reports that many kids were mortified by this information, and she tried her best not to laugh.
13. Driving is Not Advised
There are a lot of things pregnant women shouldn’t do. But what about driving?
One woman’s son is convinced that she shouldn’t drive, or the baby might “fall out.”
14. Let’s Cut the Baby Out
Kids get impatient and bored waiting for a baby- apparently.
One woman reports her friend’s 3-year-old son asked if they could cut the baby out right now. He was bored and thought it’d be a fun home activity to do that day.
15. Her Uterus is Having a Baby
“My sister raised her 4yo with proper anatomy terms. He will occasionally ask “What is the baby doing in your uterus?”
On a family outing he went up to a few strangers and excitedly told them “Her uterus has a baby”
16. We Don’t Need Any More
One young cousin thought there were already too many babies around. “My 7yo niece “I don’t want another cousin, we already have so Many.” Says one mom.
17. Can I Get Chocolate Milk?
Kids have lots of questions during pregnancy. One mom reports, “The one cute thing was our discussion about what the baby will eat. I told her at the beginning the baby can only drink milk. She then expressed concern that the baby will take her milk. So I explained that the baby will drink from my [breast]. She was quite impressed with that but followed it up by asking if the baby can get milk from my one [breast] and she would like hot chocolate from the other one.”
18. Woah, It’s Dark
“I was showing my 5 year old brother my ultrasound pictures and he goes “wow….it’s really dark in there” Yes, kid. The uterus is quite dark!
19. You’re Too Skinny
“My boyfriends 6yo cousin told me I can’t have a baby because my belly isn’t big enough to fit one. I am a very skinny lady lol.” Shares one woman. Good thing bellies stretch!
20. Getting a Baby
“Every time I see my 7 yr old cousin she asks my husband and I “are you excited to get a baby?” If only if was that easy.
21. The Baby Store
A mom shares her hilarious story when her daughter asked where babies came from, she answered that she bought one online. She then caught her trying to find babies online on her phone one day. Oops!
22. Can I Get a Brother?
My 5-year-old informed me today that when she turns 6, she will be “getting” a brother. I asked her how. She shrugged her shoulder and said she’d figure it out. I save her the details and let her think it’s magic.
23. Baby Release Button
Someone shares, “My 5 year old believed that my belly button was a quick release button he could use to get the baby out when he was ready to meet it.”
24. Crawling Back In
One little girl was having a rough day, and asked if she could craw back into her mom’s belly and stay there a while. So cute, if only it was that easy!
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