15 Ways We Unintentionally Burn Ourselves Out
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Self-love and self-care aren’t often at the top of the to-do list for busy moms, professionals, and students. In particular, most moms do their best to be there for their kids, even to the detriment of their own well-being. But the truth is, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your children (or co-workers). This allows you to be the best version of yourself for your family and sets a great example for your children to prioritize self-care in their lives.
Certain signs indicate that your mental health is running low and that you’re headed straight for burnout. If you are in this situation, know it is never too late to start implementing self-care practices into your daily routine. The first step is recognizing what changes you need to make to prioritize your own well-being.
Here’s how to know you’re spreading yourself dangerously thin.
1. You Have No Boundaries
If you have no boundaries to guard your time, personal property, and even needs, you will be at the mercy of everyone who needs you and your personal space.
Setting boundaries is not selfish; it’s knowing that even you are human and have limits (and preferences). Examples include setting specific times for work, household chores, and personal time. This will ensure your needs are not constantly on the back burner.
2. You Don’t Speak Up
Do you shy away from expressing yourself even when you’re right or when your opinion could make a huge difference? If so, you may neglect your needs and right to be heard.
When you don’t speak up, you deny your kids or partner the chance to hear your thoughts and views and you deny yourself the opportunity to grow. It’s all about finding a balance between assertiveness, providing valuable insight, and respecting others.
3. Absence of Introspection
Personal growth calls for regular inspection, as it helps you better understand yourself and your circumstances. You cannot set personal goals and work towards achieving them if you spend all your time catering to others and their “pressing” needs.
Can you get a minute to journal or create a resolution? Taking advantage of quiet moments at the beginning or end of the day to reflect, journal, and make future plans is essential for waking up each day with clarity on what you want to achieve.
4. Neglecting Personal Goals
Creating long and short-term goals is great, but following through with them is another ball game. If your personal goals are getting buried under the rubble of your family’s or co-workers’ demands and requests, it’s time to evaluate your priorities.
Your goals are valid, too. Working toward them will inspire you and give you purpose outside of being a mom.
5. A Packed Calendar
Is there space in your calendar for anything besides what you need to do for others? Do you say yes to all the activities and then spend all your time shuttling around kids?
If you have overcommitted so much time that your calendar is packed to the next century, it’s time to evaluate and strike things off that calendar. Ensure that your calendar is well-balanced and incorporates time for self-improvement and relaxation. It’s okay to say no to certain activities. You don’t have to do it all!
6. Dropping Everything for Friends
Being on everyone’s speed dial and lending a shoulder to lean on for all your friends is excellent; however, you should not do it at the expense of your own feelings and emotions. If you’re a mom, your friends should respect that you’ll likely have less time for them and that you need more than a moment’s notice these days to just drop everything and do something.
7. Downplaying Your Achievements
Not flashing your achievements in front of everyone may be a show of humility, but downplaying them so as not to make others uncomfortable is not.
You deserve to be recognized for your achievements, and your self-esteem could do with a little boost, too. Allow others to appreciate your efforts; it will boost your confidence and self-development.
This is especially true for all the tasks that moms do daily that get overlooked because they’re “expected.” Keeping little humans alive, fed, and happy (mostly) and managing the household are big tasks to celebrate!
8. Prioritizing Self-care Feels Wrong
How do you feel spending a day (or even an hour) caring for your mental, physical, or emotional well-being? If a bit of self-care leaves you feeling guilty, you’re not prioritizing your needs.
Does a day at the spa feel like you wasted resources and time that could’ve been used to catch on your to-do list? Remember, you deserve self-care, and it’s not selfish. The laundry and dishes can wait.
9. Sidelining Your Interests
Your hobbies are important, and ignoring them in favor of somebody else’s immediate needs shows that you’re not taking your own needs as seriously as you should. Of course, the amount of time and energy you have for hobbies might change with kids, but throwing them completely out the window shouldn’t be the answer.
The things that make you happy should not be neglected. Enjoying activities you’re passionate about will help you feel more grounded and centered each day.
10. Being a “Yes” Person
We all want to be known as reliable, but if you always say “yes” to all requests, you will not have time to prioritize your own needs.
If you find it hard to turn down a request for assistance, you will spread yourself too thin and burn out trying to be Superman. “No” is a complete sentence, and you should not feel guilty for refusing to do all the things. The play dates, birthday parties, and five sports at once can wait.
It’s called self-care.
11. Putting Others’ Opinions Above Your Own
It’s natural to seek validation from others, but constantly prioritizing their opinions over your own can harm your well-being. Remember that your thoughts and feelings are as valid as anyone else’s. In particular, social media is full of trolls making every mom feel bad about how they parent, no matter what they do.
Trust in yourself, your intuition, and your decisions- and don’t let others’ opinions dictate your life.
12. Comparing Yourself to Others
It’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly comparing ourselves to others, especially with constant access to face social media. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. It can also lead to detrimental negative self-talk. Plus, what kind of example does this set for the kiddos?
Instead of focusing on what others are doing, focus on your journey and accomplishments. Celebrate your unique qualities and achievements rather than trying to measure up to someone else. Your kids, who ae always watching, will also learn to do the same.
13. Striving for Perfection
Perfectionism can be a major roadblock to self-growth and self-love. Continuously criticizing yourself for not meeting impossible standards is a harmful habit. While having high standards for yourself is great, constantly striving for perfection can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a distorted sense of self-worth.
Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Embrace imperfection and allow yourself room for growth and improvement. Accept your flaws and mistakes, and focus on self-improvement instead of dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
14. Neglecting Mental Health
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to neglect our mental health. However, caring for our mental well-being is as important as physical health.
Make time for self-care activities that benefit your mental health, such as meditation, therapy, or simply taking a break from technology. Get your kids involved so they can learn these important life skills.
Whether you’re a mom, a student, or a busy professional, prioritizing your mental health is crucial for personal growth. Trying to go at 110% all the time without taking care of your mental well-being will eventually catch up to you.
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