17 Ridiculous Things People Say to Big Families

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Only those from a large family know what it’s truly like to have so many people under one roof. It can be a wonderful, chaotic, and enriching experience. However, many people, especially those without kids and those with smaller families, seem to have an opinion or two about it. Large families bring with them their fair share of bewildering comments from people who seem to have a knack for stating the obvious—or the absurd.

If you’re a parent of a large family, you’ve likely heard some of these remarks more times than you care to count. They may have left you amused or seething in anger, but there’s no denying that they are downright ridiculous.

Here are some of the things people say to big families. Have you experienced any of these?

1. “Are they all yours?”

This is perhaps one of the most common questions that parents with a large family hear. It’s usually accompanied by a wide-eyed look of disbelief and can make you feel like you’re being accused of starting a small village. It’s almost as if people cannot fathom the idea of someone willingly having more than two children.

Respond by saying, “Yes, they are all mine, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” That way, you block any more suggestions that having many kids is weird.

2. “Do you know what causes that?”

Yes, thank you for your concern about my reproductive health and personal choices. This question is often directed at mothers of large families and can be incredibly intrusive and offensive. Most people ask it, thinking they are being witty, but it can come across as incredibly condescending.

Of course, parents of large families understand the reproductive process, and comments like these reduce a loving family dynamic to a punchline or a joke about contraception.

3. “Better you than me!”

While likely meant to express admiration or incredulity, this remark can feel dismissive and patronizing. It makes it seem like having many children is an overwhelming and undesirable burden. For parents who cherish the joys and experiences of a big family, such a comment might not be the compliment the speaker intended.

It suggests that having a large family is a burden or something to be avoided, rather than a choice and source of joy for many parents. This can’t be further from the truth.

4. “How do you afford it?”

This question often comes from those who assume that having more children automatically means sacrificing financial stability and security. While raising kids can be expensive, it’s not impossible to make it work with the right budgeting and planning.

Besides, most parents of large families will tell you that the love and joy their children bring outweigh any financial concerns.

5. “How Do You Do It?”

“With a lot of help from the coffee machine and a glass of wine after 5 PM.” This question seems to be on everyone’s mind when they encounter a big family. It’s as if raising multiple children is akin to performing a magic trick.

The truth is, like anything, it takes organization, patience, and a lot of love. Parents of big families develop their systems and routines to manage the chaos, much like any family, just on a larger scale. Rather than asking how they do it, perhaps offer a helping hand or a kind word—they’ll appreciate it far more.

6. “Are You Catholic?”

Facepalm. This question assumes that a large family must be the result of religious beliefs, especially those that frown on family planning. While it’s true that some families are big due to religious convictions, it’s not a one-size-fits-all scenario.

Families come in all shapes and sizes for various reasons—personal choice, cultural traditions, or simply because they love having a full house.

7. “It’s a Whole Soccer Team!”

Referring to a big family as a “whole soccer team” can admittedly be amusing the first time you hear it. But when it’s repeated endlessly, the humor wears thin. Yes, some large families indeed have enough members to form a sports team, but more importantly, they form a loving, supportive unit that thrives on togetherness.

Families are about more than just numbers. Each member brings unique qualities and contributions, creating a dynamic environment where everyone learns to cooperate, share, and grow together.

8. “You Will Soon Need a Minibus.”

Telling parents they’ll need a minibus might seem like a clever observation, but it often states the obvious. Parents of large families are already well aware of their transportation needs. They might even have already upgraded to a larger vehicle!

The focus shouldn’t be on the logistics but on the joy and love that come with a large family. After all, it’s not the size of the vehicle that matters but the quality of the journey they take together.

9. “It’s Time to Snip, Snip!”

Comments about sterilization can be incredibly intrusive and awkward. Decisions about family size and reproductive health are deeply personal and should be respected as such. Suggesting that someone should undergo a medical procedure to limit family size crosses more boundaries than one.

Rather than making such remarks, it’s best to celebrate the vibrancy and energy that a big family brings. Every child is a cherished addition, contributing to the rich tapestry of family life.

10. “Are They From the Same Dad?”

Why is this information important to anyone other than the mom of these kids? It is quite invasive and inappropriate. It passes judgment and shows curiosity about a family’s private life, which is entirely uncalled for. Each family has its unique story, and the details of parental relationships are not for public scrutiny.

What matters is the love and care that parents provide for their children. Whether or not the children share the same biological parent is irrelevant to the strength and unity of the family.

11. “It Seems You Can’t Keep Your Hands Off Each Other.”

Suggesting that parents of a large family can’t keep their hands off each other is not only inappropriate but unnecessarily personal. Family planning and intimate relationships are private matters that should be respected.

Can you imagine how awkward this comment can get? It’s not something any parent wants to discuss with strangers or acquaintances.

12. “Your Hands Are Full!”

They are, actually. But this doesn’t invite every person with a voice to air their opinion about having many kids. This comment is often said in a sympathetic tone, implying that parents of large families must be overwhelmed and exhausted.

While parenting can be challenging, it’s also incredibly rewarding. Plus, who doesn’t love a full and vibrant household? Instead of sympathizing, offer support or praise for the hard work parents put into raising their children. They’ll appreciate the encouragement more than pity.

13. “Do They All Get Along?”

People often assume that having more children means constant fighting and chaos. However, siblings in big families can form incredibly strong bonds and learn valuable lessons in cooperation and conflict resolution.

While disagreements do happen, it’s not exclusive to large families. Even two siblings only can have a Tom and Jerry relationship. What matters is the love and support they have for each other, regardless of the number of siblings.

14. You Must Be Supermom/Dad

Parents of large families are not superheroes or saints; they’re simply parents who happen to have more children than others. Labeling them as such can create unrealistic expectations and add unnecessary pressure.

Parents in big families are just like any other parents, with their own strengths and struggles. They deserve recognition for the hard work they do, but they should not be put on a pedestal or compared to fictional characters.

15. “Are You Done Yet?”

This comment implies that having many children is a mistake that should be corrected. Whether a family chooses to have more children is a personal decision, and such questions are rarely welcomed.

Respect for personal choices should always be the priority. It’s not anyone’s place to judge or question another person’s family.

16. “Do You Ever Get Any Time to Yourself?”

The assumption here is that parents lose their identity and personal time when they have many children. While raising a large family is demanding, parents find ways to balance their responsibilities and still carve out time for themselves. It’s all about managing time effectively.

You can get time to groom yourself and practice mindfulness even in a bustling household. Parents in big families have learned to prioritize and make time for self-care, proving that it’s possible to be a parent and still take care of oneself.

17. “Just Wait Until They’re All Teenagers!”

This comment is based on the stereotype that teenagers are universally difficult to handle. While adolescence does bring unique challenges, parents of large families are adept at navigating different stages of their children’s development.

Every age has its joys and challenges; assuming the worst isn’t helpful. Instead, let’s celebrate the joys and milestones of each stage with parents of large families.

Source

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