Her Husband Compares Breastfeeding in the Living Room to Going to the Bathroom in Public
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Breastfeeding is a natural but often exhausting process. One key to a successful breastfeeding journey is getting enough support. So what happens when a mom’s partner makes her feel guilty for breastfeeding in her own living room?
One woman shares her story on Reddit about her husband’s outrageous comments, which we’ll explore below.
The Disturbing Story
The original poster (OP) explained that her husband approached her and expressed that he gets very uncomfortable when she breastfeeds their 7.5-month-old baby in front of him- while she was actively feeding her baby in the living room.
He specifically mentioned feeling uncomfortable when she looks straight at him while doing so. He compared it to “peeing or pooping” and said he doesn’t shove his genitals in her face to look at them. He also mentioned feeling uncomfortable when he sees a baby on a woman’s breast.
The woman was understandably upset and started crying. She told her husband that she didn’t feel safe in her own home anymore and that he only cared about himself. Her husband then warned her to think about what she said before saying something she couldn’t take back.
Finally, the man reprimanded his wife for getting so upset when he was trying “to express himself” and feel validated.
The Community Response: Horror and Support
The woman’s story generated a lot of responses on Reddit, and the overwhelming answer was that her husband needed therapy as soon as possible.
One user pointed out the urgency of getting help by saying, “Therapy. For him. Stat. His feelings around bodies and sex are seriously concerning. Does he want your child to grow up to feel like this too?”
Nursing a Baby is Beautiful- Not Sexual
Many people pointed out that breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful process and that there is nothing wrong with doing it in front of others. After all, breasts are meant for feeding babies- not for any kind of sexual act or objectification. They also noted that her husband’s discomfort with breastfeeding is likely related to deep-seated issues related to sex and shame.
Several people advised the woman to seek counseling with her husband to work through these issues. Plus, he needed individual counseling for his past traumas asap.They suggested that therapy could help her husband understand why he feels uncomfortable with breastfeeding and help him work through any underlying issues related to sex and shame.
“Yikes… the whole PURPOSE of a women’s breasts are to feed babies. This guy needs therapy, bad.” Said one woman.
Nursing Moms Deserve Support- Not Guilt
Others also encouraged the woman to stand up for herself and her baby and not let her husband’s discomfort with breastfeeding prevent her from doing what is best for their child. They suggested that she should continue breastfeeding as she normally would and not let her husband’s discomfort become a bigger issue.
Many women in the community agreed, with comments like, “Wowwww everything he said is awful and manipulative. Putting aside his blatantly problematic take on breastfeeding, the way he handled your (very valid reaction) is super concerning. Trying to turn it back on you and make himself the victim. Then he friggin doubled down! What an a**hole.”
The woman provided an update to her story in which her husband clarified his stance on breastfeeding. He said he supported it and thought it was great but was upset that his feelings were invalidated and the mom made the moment about herself.
Unfortunately, most women agreed this update made him sound like even more of a jerk.
“Good lord. Update makes it worse. His discomfort does not NEED to be validated because it’s invalid. The problem is 100% his, not yours. He needs a therapist.” Said one user.
“I’m sorry, but that update still doesn’t make him sound great. I get it that he wanted validation but not all emotions are ok just because you’re feeling them. I’ve had this same talk with many people (not about breastfeeding but about emotions). If he can’t understand that his feelings on something he knows he has issues with don’t matter as much as a child being fed them he definitely needs therapy. And honestly, asking for validation in that feels manipulative.
If my husband said something like that it would be a full blown argument. And if he told me later he just wanted me to understand I would simply say “well I don’t, because you’re not right”. Said another.
Overall, it’s clear that the OP took the confrontation much better than some women would have- trying to give her husband space to feel seen and heard. Many women admitted they’d have thrown him out to go sleep on his mom’s couch, would have been yelling at him for being a jerk, or straight up left him.
See the full thread here.
What would you have done?