Raise Emotionally Secure Kids with These 15 Key Phrases

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One day, your little boy or girl will be a colleague, a boss, or a partner. How confident are you in their ability to navigate the world, feeling secure in their emotions? Raising engineers and successful entrepreneurs is superb, but raising emotionally secure children is even more rewarding.

Emotionally secure kids are more resilient, empathetic, and better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs. The annual birthday gifts and occasional trips to the park are great, but how do you talk to your kids every day? The words we use as parents play a significant role in shaping their emotional well-being.

Here are some vital phrases that can help you raise emotionally secure kids.

1. What Do You Think About ..?

For many of us who didn’t grow up in the era of Cocomelon, our opinion wasn’t important, and a parent’s word was final. However, research shows that children who can’t express themselves are more likely to be depressed and unhappy. 

Encouraging your children to express their opinions, and valuing it, helps them develop critical thinking skills and self-confidence. Whip out this phrase when picking a family activity or hashing out a school project and see their eyes glow.

2. I’m Always Here For You

A child needs to know that you’re the Shrek to their Donkey. Being a child’s emotional rock means offering support so consistent that they almost don’t need the teddy bear. In today’s world, you may need to start by putting down your phone.

Be your child’s dependable safety net even when facing a small disappointment or a significant challenge. They’ll flourish like a houseplant on a sunny windowsill, knowing you’re always there to provide comfort and stability.

3. Great Idea!

Positive reinforcement is the secret ingredient to boosting a child’s self-esteem. When you nod to their suggestions, what they hear is you telling them, “Hey, you’re a genius!”

This is ideal when your kid offers a solution or activity. It’s like giving their creativity a smiley face sticker, encouraging more out-of-the-box thinking and idea sharing!

4. I’m Proud Of You [Even If You Failed]

The unfortunate truth is that kids will dabble in things and, sometimes, flop spectacularly! Be proud of them even when they come last in the race on sports day. Teach them that effort and courage are just as important as success. 

It’ll help a child to know that their worth isn’t tied to their achievements. It’s okay not to get it right every time. The key is that they give it their all and have fun while at it.

5. It’s OK to Make Mistakes

Turning mistakes into learning moments teaches kids to embrace challenges with a smile. It alleviates the pressure to be perfect and encourages a willingness to try new things. 

Your child will spill their orange juice at the dinner table or forget their homework. Teaming up to fix it not only sharpens problem-solving skills but also turns those “oops” moments into “aha” opportunities for learning.

6. I Love You Unconditionally

We often assume our children know they’re the center of our world, but they won’t really know it fully until you say it. Love your child like they’re the most awesome child, without comparing them to anyone.

Expressing your love verbally reinforces that your love is constant, regardless of their behavior or circumstances. You don’t just love them when they behave; you love them even when you’ve received a note from the principal.

7. How Does That Make You Feel?

Give emotions names. Letting a child express how a situation makes them feel helps them identify and articulate their emotions.

When your child experiences an emotional event, such as a fight with a friend, an unexpected C in an exam, or a moment of joy, it is important to understand their feelings from their perspective.

8. Good Job

Most children crave their parent’s approval and praise. That’s why your son keeps asking, “Did you see that, dad?” every time they do a (really poorly executed) backflip.

Acknowledging efforts and accomplishments with a simple “good job” boosts a child’s confidence and motivation. Show them you’re proud of them, and they won’t grow up to be people pleasers in need of constant reassurance.

9. Take A Breath

Sometimes, managing emotions on a bad day just needs a few deep breaths to help a child feel better. Teaching children to manage stress is crucial for their emotional well-being. 

Stressful situations will come; it’s good to teach children simple coping mechanisms. When the kid’s mind is running a million miles an hour, a few deep breaths give the brain a much-needed pause.

10. Let’s Have a Do-over

Encouraging a fresh start after a mistake or a hard task cultivates a growth mindset. Let your kids know they deserve a do-over because mistakes aren’t their life’s autobiography. 

This way, they learn that hitting the reset button is okay and that a little perseverance can turn blunders into wonders. They’ll need this when they grow up, and life serves them a few curveballs.

11. Let Me Think About It

To say yes or no, that is the question. As a parent who desires to stay sane or not go bankrupt, saying no is sometimes necessary. However, kids can get so used to hearing no that they don’t expect anything good to come from their requests. 

It is important to take time to consider their demands and options before making decisions. Then they also receive a masterclass on patience.

12. Give Me a Hug

A child needs a hug; it may even make them smarter. ​Physical affection is like a magic spell for love and security. Always give them a warm, squishy reminder that you’ve got their backs.

Dish out those hugs like they’re on sale, especially when emotions are running high (even when they’re driving you crazy). They’ll always come to you for comfort. 

13. I’ll Always Keep You Safe

Most kids with childhood trauma have one thing in common: a grown-up failed to keep them safe. Reassuring your child of their safety is fundamental for emotional security. Knowing they’ve got a guardian angel on duty is the VIP pass to security and confidence.

Let the child know home is a safe space, and they can always count on you to chase away the monsters-real and imagined. 

14. Yes, I’ll Play With You

What was the last time your child wanted to play a game of Marco Polo with you? ​ It can be easy to get caught up in daily responsibilities and tell them to play by themselves or with their siblings/friends.

But it’s time to grab a pillow and have a pillow fight or build a crumbling fort together. Playing with your child tightens your bond and boosts their emotional development. 

15. These Are The Family Rules

Running a free-market household will make you the good cop, but it will also breed some emotionally insecure kids. Setting clear boundaries and expectations gives kids a roadmap for life, like GPS for their behavior. It helps them understand the guidelines that keep everyone safe and respectful. 

Consistent rules create a stable environment where children can thrive.

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