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How often do you have a night out as a mother? Or maybe this question is laughable in your current routine. Do you get time out of work and away from children to hang out with your friends? Should moms have sleepovers too sometimes?
A mother posted on the “Working Moms” subreddit, shocked that such things are considered luxuries to many mothers. Self-care isn’t a luxury, but rather a necessity- she argues.
A Mom Has a Fun Night Out With Friends
The original poster went out to meet with an old friend of hers. They went out for dinner and then drinks. Later on, she stayed overnight at her friend’s place.
The next day, she was talking to a co-worker and told them how she had a good night out with her friend. The co-worker has kids the same age as OP, 2 and 4 years old.
She was shocked that OP had a night out with a friend, went to a sleepover, and wouldn’t return home until the next evening. She asked who cared for OP’s kids while she was away, and OP said it was her husband.
The co-worker was so shocked. She said she could not imagine her husband taking the kids through dinner, bath, and bedtime routine and getting them up in the morning. She added that he might do it, but the worst part is that he would complain about it all day long, and it would ultimately not be worth it.
Are Fathers Really Equal Parents If Moms Can’t Leave Sometimes?
OP could not understand why women settle with partners who cannot singlehandedly care for their babies. It is even worse when the man expects and leaves the woman to hold it down alone, yet they cannot do it themselves.
She adds that it can be quite draining to keep pouring from an empty cup, which is what most women go through.
The Masses Weigh In
Seeing a mother out and asking them who is watching their kids to me passes as mom shaming. A mother should be able to take some time off, catch up with friends, and have some alone self-care. Unfortunately, alone time for mothers is often considered a luxury, yet it is almost never questioned when a father has it.
The same people who would question and even frown upon a mother having some time out of childcare would turn a blind eye to fathers going out and spending late evenings with friends.
Here is what Reddit users had to say about the expectation of women staying home and tending to their children.
““Who is watching your kids” is the funniest possible question to a parent when only one parent is present for that question.”
A comment replying to the above comment said, “Omg, yes. Whenever I go out alone, I get asked where’s my kid…where do you think?! Or did I make a baby on my own?”
“The wording “Watching” is so weird also. With women, many people say we are “taking care of” the kids when we’re home, but the dads are “watching” them like they’re incapable of being caretakers.” I adored this comment because it is true, but the difference in the wording never hit me.
And lastly, “I’ve had a similar reaction from one of my employees who is married with two boys. I went away for a weekend to see a good friend in another state, and she was like, who is watching your son?? Uh..my perfectly capable husband who is an equal parent to our child. She then said she could never trust her husband to care for her sons. I just said well, I hope he finds a good babysitter or nanny for you then. Mind-boggling for sure.”
If you have kids, do you ever get asked this ridiculous question? How do you handle it?