She Wonders Where to Draw the Line for Confronting Her Friend About Her Son’s Obesity: Should She Even Go There?

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When you are in the presence of good friends, it can feel good to talk about your daily life without feeling judged. So what happens when a group of moms wants to call out another mom for her son’s weight?

A mother (original poster/OP) on Mumsnet, a popular parenting forum, posted a dilemma that she was facing with her best friend. The mother stated that her friend’s child was overweight, and she was concerned about the child’s health. Yet, she knows the mom is overwhelmed and getting medical advice due to other developmental health issues the boy is having.

Other moms in her circle of friends want to confront the mom about her son’s weight because they feel they’re doing the boy a disservice otherwise. The OP disagrees and thinks that confronting her will only cause her more stress for an issue she is already well aware of.

She asked the forum if she was being unreasonable for not wanting to discuss her son’s weight with her like her other mom friends. Or if she’s right and they should just drop it.

What’s the issue?

The issue at hand is whether or not it is appropriate for the mother to discuss her concerns about her friend’s child’s weight with her friend. This can be a sensitive topic, as discussing someone’s weight can be seen as offensive and intrusive. Additionally, the mother is unsure how her friend will react to the conversation and if it will damage their relationship.

Forum Community Thoughts

The Mumsnet community was mostly supportive of the OP’s gut instinct to not want to speak to her friend about her child’s weight. Most moms agreed that talking to the mom about an issue that she is already being actively addressing will just make the mom feel more stressed. They offer to be supportive and a good friend, rather than shaming her for her son’s weight.

One user wrote, “She knows and there are professionals involved due to his additional needs, leave it to them to discuss his health and just be her friend rather than another judgemental voice.”

Another user agreed, saying, “She knows. She doesn’t need her closest friends to point out the obvious and make her feel like a sh** mum. She won’t appreciate it. Be there and support her when she needs it.”

Some users suggested that the mother could encourage a healthy environment by scheduling play dates that require being physically active and bringing healthy snacks. The OP could also discuss what works with her own kids rather than pointing out other kids’ issues. For example, saying something like, “I’ve noticed that my child has become more active and healthy since we started doing X, would you be interested in joining us?”

Overall, it was agreed that nothing positive would be achieved from such an awkward conversation. Instead, being supportive and offering advice (if the mom asks for it) are the best the OP can do.

Conclusion

In conclusion, discussing someone’s weight, especially a child’s, can be a sensitive and difficult topic.

Most members of the Mumsnet community feel that it is not their place to comment on someone else’s parenting. The best approach may be to focus on promoting healthy habits and activities without directly addressing the issue of weight.

Ultimately, it is up to the mother to decide how to approach the conversation and what is best for her friendship and the child’s health.

See the full thread here.