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Mastering the art of being a thoughtful and considerate guest often hinges on the ability to discern the right moment to say goodbye. Beyond timing, guests are expected to adhere to an unspoken yet universally acknowledged set of etiquette guidelines firmly grounded in basic common sense.
On an online platform, someone asked, “What’s the weirdest thing a guest has done at your house?”
1. Watching Adult Videos on a Borrowed Laptop
If a guest borrows your gadget to check a quick email, you oblige as a good human being. One host got the shock of their life. They say, “He said he needed to look up something on the internet so I lent him my laptop. He then proceeds to watch p**n on my couch while I am 6 ft away from him.”
2. The Toothbrush Thief
Toothbrushes are private. There’s no debate about that, but one guest didn’t get this memo.
A user shares, “I walked in (to the bedroom) and saw the same dude using my toothbrush to get dip out from between his teeth. He doesn’t get invited to parties anymore.”
3. The Dog Food Thief
Not to advocate for stealing, but there are many things a guest can take from a house. However, why would one eat dog food? One online user says, “(The guest) ate the dog’s pellets. The bag was nearly full before she came and was half full when she left.”
Pica is real; maybe she was craving some canine treats?
4. Wooden Growth Chart Spoiler
Family practices like marking a growth chart for the kids are sacred. One guest didn’t care for traditions. A frustrated online platform user narrates, “A grown man … marked his height on our children’s wooden growth chart. In permanent Sharpie marker.”
5. Stripping to the Bare Minimum
An online user shared their childhood experience, “When I was 14 my landlord came to our apartment to fix the toilet, and he took his pants off and did the whole thing in his boxers.”
Apparently, he was on his way to a wedding. Is that reason enough to strip in front of a tenant’s child? Or any child, for that matter? Spare clothes exist for such times as these.
6. Not-so-Organic Fertilizer
A guest shared her own experience of being the gross one. She says, “I was the guest in this one, but once I fertilized a British couple’s rose garden by puking a gallon of red wine and truffle stew all over it. I am not welcome back.”
One user gave the throwing-up protocol at parties: Do it in the toilet. Unnoticed.
7. Bathroom Faux Pas
Breaking the bathroom etiquette is the easiest way to be eternally scrapped off the invite list. The blunders are many and stinky, from blocking the toilets to wiping with the hand towel. One user says, “Way too many of these involve sh***ng, and I’m never letting anyone in my bathroom again.”
8. Drugging the Family Dog
What should you do if a dog looks sad? The answer is not to give them drugs. One guest, though, played the quack vet during a visit. A user stated, “(the guest) gave my dog drugs because, and I quote, “she looked sad, so I thought some molly would cheer her up.”
The Chihuahua nearly died.
9. Retching in the Fish Tank
Too many rude guest actions involve throwing up in the wrong places. A host shared, “Not too weird, but a friend was extremely f***d up and tried to puke into my fish tank.”
It is weird.
10. When They Just Can’t Find the Toilet
Drinking impairs vision, making light switches difficult to find in strange houses. One guest couldn’t find the toilet bowl in a well-lit room. One user narrates, “She (the guest) went into my bathroom, left the door open, and peed on the bath mat.”
11. Pork-eating Vegan?
Food etiquette is a must-have for any guest. Not for this one, though. “She says she was a vegan, so she only brought some seeds, nuts, etc. but cooked and ate MY pork chops before I got home from work. She had no company over. So it was HER!”
12. Little Goldilocks
A user narrated how a guest slept on her bed while she was away.
A commenter asks in jest, “Did she eat your porridge, too?”
It’s good to stick to the assigned bedroom when you visit.
13. Shoes in the Dishwasher
Some lines should just not be crossed. One user says, “(The guest) washed his house slippers in the dishwasher.”
14. The Snack Door Licker
Another user shares, “(The guest) licked the door of my snacks closet. The door. Not the snacks.”
Some behaviors are hard to understand, however much you try.
15. Robbing the Piggy Bank
Stealing from a baby should be the only exception to reaping where you didn’t sow. Some guests, however, know no bounds. One user states, “(He) stole my 7-month-old baby’s piggy bank.”
That’s a problem.
Maybe some guests had their common sense surgically removed.
16. Friend or Hotel?
A user writes his sad story, “My friend treated my house like it was his own hotel room. I thought was coming to visit me and we’d coordinate for stuff to do, but it turns out he just wanted to save money on a place to sleep.
He had his own plans and didn’t tell me about any of them until he got to my place. And he even tried getting his other friends in the area to sleep at my place.
I hadn’t seen him in years, too. So I was disappointed that I planned my holiday weekend around my friend but he had other plans.”
17. Throwing Everything Away
To continue adding to the bathroom craziness, someone writes, “Throwing out my toilet bin because he sh** himself while peeing so he needed to throw out his boxers and I guess my toilet bin too.”
18. Making Himself Comfortable
This story turned out amicably but is still ridiculous in hindsight. A user shares, “Wasn’t my house was a friends, we had been invited over to drink and stay the night. We sat in the garden talked and drank and then one of our friends excused himself to the bathroom he was gone for about 20 minutes until another friend said he will go check on him. He came back down 5 minutes later laughing his ass off. The dude had gone upstairs and ran a bubble bath from himself, lit a few candles and even had a floating duck.”
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