14 Important Manners Parents Aren’t Teaching Kids Anymore
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Raising a child might seem simple until they start talking, and you realize that your “little bundle of joy” is becoming a lively and a little mischievous character. Instilling good manners can slip through the cracks as we try to cut perfect sandwich squares and make the kids eat broccoli. The worst part about ill-mannered children is they’re a menace to other people as well.
Raising well-rounded kids requires more than getting them to shower and take their vitamins. Good manners are the little things that go a long way in shaping our kids into kind, considerate adults.
Here are the important manners parents aren’t teaching kids anymore—but definitely should.
1. Phone Etiquette in Public
Smartphones are practically an extension of ourselves, and most kids just grew up around phones without proper guidance on how to use them, especially in public. You’ll see a child watching Spongebob Squarepants at full volume on a flight at midnight.
It’s important that children learn to limit loud videos or excessive phone usage in shared spaces. They need to be considerate of others and understand that not everyone wants—or needs—to hear our private calls and videos.
2. Saying “Please” and “Thank You”
Most kids’ first few words are “No!” or” Give me!” The magic words “please” and “thank you” were once automatic for kids, but they can get overlooked in everyday interactions.
These simple phrases go a long way in showing respect and appreciation. Reinforcing this behavior at home sets a strong foundation for their interactions outside the home.
3. Using Proper Names and Titles
Addressing people by their proper names and titles is a sign of respect. It’s more than just politeness, it’s also an acknowledgment of someone’s identity and status.
Teaching kids to address adults as “Mr.,” “Ms.,” or “Dr.” followed by their last name until told otherwise shows respect and can leave a lasting positive impression. Parents should model this behavior and correct their children gently when they forget.
4. Table Manners
Good table manners are timeless. Knowing how to behave at the dining table is a skill that reflects well on an individual in any social or professional setting. These practices are essential, from chewing with their mouths closed to not talking with food in their mouths.
Teach your kids the basics of table etiquette, such as using utensils properly, waiting for everyone to be served before eating, and asking to be excused before leaving the table.
5. Respecting Elders
Have you recently seen a child rise from the seat on the bus for an elder? Respecting elders is a fundamental value that seems to be fading. Teaching kids to respect their elders is essential—after all, who else will share tales of landline phones and walking uphill both ways to school?
This includes listening attentively when they speak, offering assistance, and addressing them respectfully. Parents should emphasize the importance of treating elders with kindness and respect.
6. Gratitude
From slow Wi-Fi to the toy train that fell off its tracks, kids have a lot to complain about. Parents need to pause before cursing the slow driver in the fast lane and model gratitude for their kids.
Encourage them to express gratitude regularly—for a gift, a kind gesture, or simply for a beautiful day. Practicing gratitude openly can help children develop a sense of appreciation, which is good for their mental and emotional health.
7. Having Thick Skin
It may take time, but criticism is inevitable. Most parents today shield their children from negative aspects of life, such as criticism or losing a game, but teaching kids to have a thick skin is invaluable.
It’ll be helpful for the children to know that not every remark or opinion is a personal attack and that resilience is key to navigating life’s challenges. Encourage your children to take constructive criticism positively and not dwell on negative comments.
8. No Swearing
There may be a video or two online of a child swearing and parents laughing, thinking it’s cute. Swearing is an easy habit to pick up but a tough one to break.
It’s important to teach kids that using foul language is inappropriate and can be offensive to others. Encourage them to express their feelings using appropriate words.
9. Respecting People’s Spaces and Things
You may have seen kids barge into a house and immediately start running around touching things while still wearing their shoes. Respecting others’ personal space and belongings is a crucial aspect of good manners.
Parents should get back to teaching kids to knock before entering a room, not to invade personal space, and to handle others’ possessions with care. Children need to understand boundaries and the importance of asking for permission.
10. Helping with Household Chores
There are machines for doing almost everything at home now, so why do kids need to be taught how to sweep or load the dishwasher? Involving children in household chores teaches them responsibility and the importance of contributing to the people they live with.
It’s also a great way to instill a sense of accomplishment and work ethic. Assign age-appropriate chores to your children and make it a routine.
11. Not Interrupting Others
We all know how a child will shout, “Mom!” a thousand and one times when Mom is on an important Zoom call or talking to another adult. Most yesteryear kids knew better than interrupting grown-up conversations.
Teaching kids to listen and wait for their turn to speak is a vital communication skill. Interrupting others can be seen as disrespectful and can hinder effective communication.
12. Offering a Helping Hand to Strangers
Stranger danger has increased in recent times, and this has unfortunately led to many parents being wary of asking kids to offer help to strangers in need. Encourage your children to look for opportunities to assist others in safe ways that don’t put them at risk for anything malicious.
Acts of kindness can profoundly impact both the giver and the receiver and instill a sense of compassion in your children.
13. Sharing
Homes that had many kids knew that nothing really belonged to anyone and people shared things. Sharing is a fundamental social skill that helps kids develop empathy and cooperation. Most kids today have almost everything they need, and they never have to share with anyone.
Children need to learn that sharing their toys, snacks, or time with others is a kind and generous act. Encourage your children to share with their siblings, friends, and even strangers.
14. Patience
Who needs to wait when you can make instant noodles in three minutes, download a video in seconds, and send a letter without going to the post office? Patience is a virtue that can benefit children throughout their lives, but it may be getting drowned in the waters of instant everything.
Patience is about learning to wait without frustration and understanding that not everything happens instantly. Baking, growing something in the ground, or waiting in line can help them nurture a better sense of patience.